guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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