she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize