I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
