she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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