My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize