How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
