at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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