i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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