They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
birth control should be required to get into college
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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