exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
