His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
