He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
