All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
