I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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