is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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