he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There r osticjed everywhere
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
