I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
