obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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