butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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