did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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