No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize