You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Couch. On fire.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
