We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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