I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
