swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
