and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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