She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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