when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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