Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
