If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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