Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My first STD was from a foam party
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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