great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
