you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
