Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think i peed on brittanys purse
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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