me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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