you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
