Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize