did you get engaged???
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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