im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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