Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
