My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize