Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
