The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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