Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
