Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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