she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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