she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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