You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
