At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize