your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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