Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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