I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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