at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
