Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You took a bar mat shot.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
