You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
