whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
