She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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