RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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