What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
