sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
