I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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