in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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