when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
