i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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