Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I need water and some morals
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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