Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
