i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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